it's been god-knows-how-long since you ate a full meal
the other day you ate more than you have in at least two weeks and it was honestly pathetic
[[force yourself up and make something]]
[[too tired.]]you go to the cupboard.
everything's too much effort.
it'd be hard to make something.
[[do it anyway]]
[[go without]]you'll probably get yelled at for this later
you don't really care anymore
she's upset that you're not eating but so are you so i guess you're even
[[lay down]]it hurts, a little.
it's been so long at this point that your stomach is starting to growl and hurt a little.
or, kind of, a lot.
you can't tell the difference
or if it's a strong or weak reaction anymore
[[please eat something]]
[[it'll be fine.]]you get something small and stupid like a can of soup that you can microwave easily.
you're so lazy. you're too lazy.
you could make the excuse that it's your depression
maybe it is
it probably is, mostly, i can't think of much other reason you'd starve yourself for
you put the little plastic bowl in the microwave and wait
it's also really hot
don't eat it in the kitchen
[[take it back to the couch]]you do that
you hole up in your stupid blanket and put your headphones on and set the little bowl next to you
how much do you wanna bet you won't eat it after all
[[eat it all anyway]]you really are lazy and useless, huh?
you go without.
this makes about three days that you've done that.
[[i know]]you've had to be practically force-fed lately
you just won't eat.
today's a rare occasion, in that you actually got hungry
maybe you should ask to see the doctor
[[i'd rather not]]maybe one day
it'll be hard though
maybe one day soon you'll be able to eat again
you have a good point.
they already suspect you of stuff because of your dysphoria.
they probably think you're starving yourself on purpose to look skinnier or something.
as if that's something you need, to look skinnier.
are you starving yourself on purpose?
[[i don't know]]
[[yes]][[restart]]you barely make it through half the bowl
the important part is that you're trying.
[[yeah, ok. sure.]](unfinished.)
[[restart]]i really mean it.
[[i'm sure you do]][[restart]](unfinished.)